Dear Mom

It’s been a while since I’ve been such a creep, but still, Mom
I feel I must beg forgiveness: I am so sorry
It seems in fact that you weren’t so dumb after all
It may even be that it was me with the problem
And not (as it so clearly seemed) you. You, who appeared not to understand
You, (who I felt) lacked even the basics of what was required to support my smart

(Sorry) ass. The wisdom of the years demands an apology. That and a couple smart-
Mouthed daughters of my own. Somehow merely becoming their mom
Has rendered me incompetent. Stupid. I’ve been stripped of any ability to understand
Anything. Oh my daughters I am truly sorry
That you have to put up with my inanity. What a burden, this problem
For your small brave shoulders. Dare I point out all

The perks you enjoy, thanks to my meager existence? Do you have any idea at all
What it means to be warm? To be fed? To be sent to school so you can be this smart?
Lucky brats, perhaps you have too much. Do you think that may be the real problem?
I for one would not dare act this way to my own dear Mom
(Shhh, for this small white lie I am sorry
It’s for the greater good. I am trying to make a point, you understand)

Did I mention, Mom, how very badly I feel? Now that I truly understand
What I put you through. Now that I have experienced firsthand all
That eye-rolling has to offer. For these things and so much more I am sorry:
For hands on hips and eyes rolled skyward. For talking back and those smart-
Ass comments I thought so witty. On bended knee I come to you Mom
For you see, I have a little problem

At least, I hope it’s little. I wish to contain it before it explodes, becomes a PROBLEM
That I cannot deal with. See, I do not understand
What kept you from smacking those self-righteous smirks from my face. And Mom?
How did you manage to hold your tongue at my bold conceit? How did you keep it all
Together as time and again I pronounced You: Idiot, Me: Smart
I am so sorry

I know I caused you grief, and that a simple sorry
May not cut it. So I have a deal, a solution to our little problem
I think you’ll agree that it is quite smart
You wished upon me a curse, daughters just like me, and I understand
I do, but now I’m here to bargain. What if I were to take it all
Back? Present you with two lovely granddaughters? Take them, and spoil away, Mom.

For you see, they are smart and witty. What better way to say I’m sorry
To you, dear Mom-turned-Grandma. There, there’s not really a problem
At all. Just a couple of little wonders. I knew that Grandma would understand